...Thoughts...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

` 1:13 AM

It times again i guess. To say goodbye.

Somehow i was thinking to myself on the train ride today that is i ever leave for good, would there be anyone feel the difference here?

Kinda ego thought i guess.

Then i understood the importance is not the void that you left in people's heart when you are gone, but its the hope that you bring to them that keeps them going on.

Anyone has got hope because of me?

i hope not. Cause i don't bring hope. Christ does. Thru me.

Till then.

Hope that this reminds you of something.

Goodbye Singapore.

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, May 16, 2008

` 1:41 AM

I am starting to understand the meaning behind the word waiting.

It does not represent patience nor does it portrait any form of sacrifice.

It is simply an act of willingness.

Choice of willingness.

This is deep.

Real Deep.

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

` 12:39 AM

This post is in special memory of my beloved friend and buddy, Mr Li Yihan Ivan.

No, don't be mistaken. He is not dead. He is still alive and kicking. This is to commemorate our friendship for the last 6 years. I have known Ivan since the good old days in AJ where we both slough hard together and pit against each other in almost everything. (for the sake of Ivan and the positive nature of this post, i shall admit that i lost to him all the time) We are part of the class call 1802 who are known to stay behind in LT after class and do nothing and always late for class. Nonetheless, Ivan has been a great companion through our my journey in AJ. He has been there through the times when i am stress, tired, happy and angry. Together with the rest of the guys (arty fl kk dian justino jntzh zh), we did alot of crazy and fun things in our class. It was really a great time then.

Though now me and ivan are in different majors, he still remains an integral part of my life. Waking up my ideas at times and meeting me the loner for lunches. thank you ivan. You have been and will always be a great friend!

On the sidenote, Ivan is currently single. He is not very short and is a sports man excelling in almost every sports that he plays.Not to mention he was the in the AJC volley ball team which beat TJC to win the gold medal back in A division days. He is a smart guy which is destined for a great career. He is caring and understanding and is very willing to listen to your troubles and worries. However, he has an anxiety problem when he picks up his phone when he is sleeping, which leads to him blabbering over the phone when it happen. Nonetheless, Ivan is a very eligible bachelor and i can guarantee that he is indeed a good guy.

Interested party please contact me.

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, May 12, 2008

` 1:32 AM

I received an sms from my mum on friday.

"谢谢你们的礼物，晚餐，今天很开心"

And she was just beside me. I looked at her. How she has aged. I am glad that she did enjoy herself at the dinner we had planned for her and the present we bought for her.

Happy Mother's Day Mum.

I could see her smiling face. What else do you asked for as a son, other than to see that your mum appreciate what you have done for her and watch her smiling away?

Had another meal today with my 2nd mum. My Aunt.

She was the one who took care of us.Yes, all my brothers and my cousin were under her care when we were young. She is the lady who brought 8 kids out and manage to control them singlehandedly, be it in public transport, be it in shopping mall, or even in toilets. I really appreciate her. Appreciate her for giving me the childhood i have. When i look at her more carefully today across the table, she has aged too. But i know that she is happy, not just for her children, my cousins, but also for us, for me. She told me she hasn't went out with us for a long time, to even have a meal. I acknowledge that and am guilty of that. It reminds me of the times when she brought me to school. On my first day in primary school, she came during recess to bring food for me. I was scared, really scared because i know no one then.But i will never forget the feeling of seeing her at the canteen waiting for me be it rain or shine with a umbrella and a Tupperware filled of bread. She did that for 2 years.

Happy Mother's Day Aunt

The 3rd woman who has shaped me - my grandma.

The fact that she is long gone has sink into me. I have accepted the fact and no longer dwell in the past for what i could have or what i could not have done for her. I choose to hold on to the memories of her smiles. And i thank her for being my grandma, for being who she was, for loving me.

Happy Mother's Day Grandma.

Now that i look at it. I sort of understand that in life, you are always affecting people around you or being affected by them all the time. The truth is, whatever we do, we can never say that this is my life and my life only.

Its not just about you alone.It was never that case.

At times, you would ask for more. Not being contented with just what you have and wanting a better one.

Better is not always suitable.

If it comes, it comes. If not, just be thankful at least you have something in the first place.

But i guess human nature tends to set in the way that only when you lose it, then you realise you had it.

Agony.

~Mr Jen has spoken.