Saturday, November 29, 2008
` 11:22 PM
Mr Jen thought that being himself is tough.
But he never realise that being the people around Mr Jen is harder.
Perhaps he is just too demanding or expecting too much that he has this undue stress on these poor friends around him.
Its a tough balancing act. So easy to throw in the towel.
Teach me to never stop doing good and look for the rewards in the place You have prepared for me
Teach me not to seek the eyes of the world but of Yours.
Teach me to forgive like You do.
Teach me to love unconditionally like You do.
How did You do?
When the whole world condemned You, no one acknowledging what You have done,
No one appreciates Your sacrifices, no one believe in You, everyone heaped blame on You.
How did You turn around and say
YOU FORGIVE
YOU LOVE
YOU DO NOT REMEMBER THESE TRANSGRESSION THAT THEY HAD AGAINST YOU?
YOU WANT THEM BACK AS LONG AS THEY ARE WILLING TO COME BACK.
Just how? because i can't.
I can't be the man in the shadow like You did.
The one that hides behind the curtains and tears alone in the the dark
Crying for forgiveness of the others
while seeking the healing of the hurt and scars that has they have brought onto You on your own
I can't walk away from these and stand up strong again like You.
For You have already given up Yourself for them, but i have not.
I can't bring myself to for now.
One day, i hope i can.
Teach me to see every scar as a reminder of not the hurt, but the times You were with me when no one were.
Teach me to hold on to you even when the storm is here.
Because i have taken the first step, and i have given myself to You.
Teach me to believe.
And never doubt that You always wanted the best for me.
I wait upon You.
~Mr Jen has spoken.