...Thoughts...
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Saturday, November 29, 2008
` 11:22 PM
Mr Jen thought that being himself is tough.
But he never realise that being the people around Mr Jen is harder.

Perhaps he is just too demanding or expecting too much that he has this undue stress on these poor friends around him.

Its a tough balancing act. So easy to throw in the towel.




Teach me to never stop doing good and look for the rewards in the place You have prepared for me
Teach me not to seek the eyes of the world but of Yours.
Teach me to forgive like You do.
Teach me to love unconditionally like You do.
How did You do?
When the whole world condemned You, no one acknowledging what You have done,
No one appreciates Your sacrifices, no one believe in You, everyone heaped blame on You.
How did You turn around and say

YOU FORGIVE
YOU LOVE
YOU DO NOT REMEMBER THESE TRANSGRESSION THAT THEY HAD AGAINST YOU?
YOU WANT THEM BACK AS LONG AS THEY ARE WILLING TO COME BACK.

Just how? because i can't.
I can't be the man in the shadow like You did.
The one that hides behind the curtains and tears alone in the the dark
Crying for forgiveness of the others
while seeking the healing of the hurt and scars that has they have brought onto You on your own
I can't walk away from these and stand up strong again like You.
For You have already given up Yourself for them, but i have not.
I can't bring myself to for now.
One day, i hope i can.

Teach me to see every scar as a reminder of not the hurt, but the times You were with me when no one were.
Teach me to hold on to you even when the storm is here.
Because i have taken the first step, and i have given myself to You.

Teach me to believe.
And never doubt that You always wanted the best for me.

I wait upon You.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008
` 1:47 AM
Some how i wish sometime i could have reverse back and waited a bit longer before i make any decisions. Some times when it passes you by, it is gone. What is left behind is the lingering effect of making you think what it would have been if only. We can only imagine and perceive the good that might have been, we tend not to look at the bad that it would have been. I supposed its a human thing that we are all made in that way.

I want to stop lingering the the "if only" mode and start living in the "this is more than enough" mode. I can't keep thinking about the 'what if' because it is affecting the way i look at things right now. It is not doing any good because i am just living in a perceived world when the actual fact is that i am facing reality everyday.

When its missed, its over.

No one knows what will happen in the future, only Him

Come on Mr Jen, stop harping on it like a big kid throwing tantrums over little toys.

There is no IF ONLY, there is only I ALREADY HAVE THIS.

you are killing yourself over it Mr Jen.

Drop it or drop it.

No other options.

Its over Mr Jen.

OVER!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, November 14, 2008
` 11:55 PM
video
Don't you just love video with the song SO SICK?

yes its sickening engineering stuff but i kinda start to like it.

goodness me Mr Jen...how could you?....

*check out the medicine box man..its super cool la!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, November 13, 2008
` 11:54 PM
After all the toiling and late nights...the last day of pushing till 4am in school....the pain and feeling of being toyed by the electronic world..it all come to an end at 3.38pm today..

Finally, CHANGE IS HERE.


















My beloved subsystem...Mr Jen's PHMD.

PHMD?
Yes PHMD.
Personal Health Monitoring System.

Uses :
Constant measurement of Electrocardiograph(aka heart rate) and temperature of user and transmit wirelessly to the AMD.














The electrodes for my ECG.They never fail to electrocute me an pass voltage up to 15V through my body and make me fill the 'ants' crawling ard me feeling


















PHA. Yes PHA.

Personal Health Assistant (by Taiqin)

Uses:
Communication between central data base via AMD between user and the nurse.
Reminder for medication, distress alarm, personal info etc...


















MDU. Yes.

Medicine Dispensing Unit (by Qijia)

Uses:
Auto dispense medication upon scanned card by user. Regulate the pills to be taken and stop overdosage.


















AMD.

Area Monitoring Device (by ChangYung)

Uses:
Act as communicator for wireless transmission between PHA /PHMD and the central data base.
Has fall detector which send an alarm when detected vibration on the floor beyond a threshold level.

It wasn't till 1hr before the presentation that we had go our stuff working as one integrated system. And my ECG just want to fail me the night before and finally work like 15 minuted before the prof and supervisors came?i was almost down to tears. 13 weeks of hard work was almost undone at that instant.

I know all things will be okay in His time. Though might not be the type of okay i am looking for or the way i hope things will be. But things still worked out.

The supervisors were quite impressed with our stuff i think. They din grill us like they did to other groups. i hope this is a good sign. Though i wanted so much to end this project module but i now i feel abit empty that it ended...weird...but i am really thankful for my group mates who helped me through out...stickin on man...hope to work together again..though the 2 of u r leaving for exchange next sem!..ha..

Thank Him for i do think, for moment like this, i learnt once again what is Faith and what is His will is always greater and better than mine.

3 more weeks and sem will end.

3 more sems to working life.

and after that 3 more years to finish bond.

a life time to learn.

Nonetheless, thank you team Obama Healthcare. (we are how spot on for the elections la!)























CHANGE IS HERE!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, November 08, 2008
` 11:23 PM
i need to stop all these thoughts in me that is derailing me from my focus and my concentration. I need to remain on track. Its always when i am starting to get on the right track that it comes and make me lose direction.

I need to get them off my mind and come back to Him.

Focus.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, November 02, 2008
` 1:38 AM
if i could indulge in music that makes me realise that the world without the harmonics of sounds is not jus bland but colourless, i would gladly let this self indulges become a form of habitual living.

good gracious.

Why does music understand how i feel better than human do?

This is weird.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Music ;

Express Yourself LIVE

Mr Jen ;

Current Mood : Pondering

Want ;

Understanding
Humility
Patience
Kind

Wishes ;

Know and Do His Will
Mum and Dad To Receive His Gift
Trust and Keep Faith (trying)
For Him and Not Me

Speak ;




Exit to ;

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Chriz
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Harn
Huiling
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Ruijie
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