...Thoughts...

Friday, October 31, 2008

` 2:13 AM

I got a rude awakening this morning as i received a sms from my beloved Dr Andrew.

"Have you trained for 7th Dec? I only run up till 10km lei"

I think to myself on my bed.

I barely even make it to 8!

Gosh and its just 5 weeks away.

So i came home today, changed and went running. Despite all the tiredness and headache, i wanted to push myself. Afterall, isn't pushing your self to the limit the act that everyone is doing by signing up for marathon?

So i went.

I enjoy the night breeze, with the smell of burnt wood.

I could feel my knees creaking, my heart pounding like a overloaded washing machine, my head spinning and the sound of madonna's "give it to me" from my mp3.

To my own amazement, i ran more than what i planned.

I kinda like this running part. It seems like He talked to me while i run. I always learn alot of lessons in the process as i let my mind drift into issues and problems i face. Think about the things that i don dare to probe in my daily life, fearing that they could drag me away from my day to day work. Trying to understand why certain things occur, why certain people appear in my life, why certain decisions i made were affecting me now.

Perhaps the road back seems so long, that it reflects on my life that i dunno where does it end. I could only struggle to cover the ground every single seconds,telling myself not to give up, it will be there soon.

I can't rely on myself. I have to depend on Him.

The soul is willing but the flesh is weak.

This is a practical example i guess.

The part which i liked most, end of the run.

I sat alone at the playground facing the expressway. Seeing the cars go by in the bright street lamp, alot of things run through my mind.

I supposed at times i am so absorbed into the world that i don't even know that i am move at a speed that i can't imagine myself in. Only when i stop and look around that i realise the relative pace i have gone up to is terrifying.

I tink running is a manner which i can go away from myself and let myself SEE myself from another perspective.

Sound like tropic thunder.

In any case, be it i walk or run on the 7th Dec, i know it will be the day where i can look at myself again, perhaps, in a better light.

*Oh man, my friend gave birth!

~Mr Jen has spoken.