...Thoughts...

Monday, May 12, 2008

` 1:32 AM

I received an sms from my mum on friday.

"谢谢你们的礼物，晚餐，今天很开心"

And she was just beside me. I looked at her. How she has aged. I am glad that she did enjoy herself at the dinner we had planned for her and the present we bought for her.

Happy Mother's Day Mum.

I could see her smiling face. What else do you asked for as a son, other than to see that your mum appreciate what you have done for her and watch her smiling away?

Had another meal today with my 2nd mum. My Aunt.

She was the one who took care of us.Yes, all my brothers and my cousin were under her care when we were young. She is the lady who brought 8 kids out and manage to control them singlehandedly, be it in public transport, be it in shopping mall, or even in toilets. I really appreciate her. Appreciate her for giving me the childhood i have. When i look at her more carefully today across the table, she has aged too. But i know that she is happy, not just for her children, my cousins, but also for us, for me. She told me she hasn't went out with us for a long time, to even have a meal. I acknowledge that and am guilty of that. It reminds me of the times when she brought me to school. On my first day in primary school, she came during recess to bring food for me. I was scared, really scared because i know no one then.But i will never forget the feeling of seeing her at the canteen waiting for me be it rain or shine with a umbrella and a Tupperware filled of bread. She did that for 2 years.

Happy Mother's Day Aunt

The 3rd woman who has shaped me - my grandma.

The fact that she is long gone has sink into me. I have accepted the fact and no longer dwell in the past for what i could have or what i could not have done for her. I choose to hold on to the memories of her smiles. And i thank her for being my grandma, for being who she was, for loving me.

Happy Mother's Day Grandma.

Now that i look at it. I sort of understand that in life, you are always affecting people around you or being affected by them all the time. The truth is, whatever we do, we can never say that this is my life and my life only.

Its not just about you alone.It was never that case.

At times, you would ask for more. Not being contented with just what you have and wanting a better one.

Better is not always suitable.

If it comes, it comes. If not, just be thankful at least you have something in the first place.

But i guess human nature tends to set in the way that only when you lose it, then you realise you had it.

Agony.

~Mr Jen has spoken.