Saturday, September 01, 2007
` 1:02 AM
Well..i tink its different nowadays..
After so much that has happened..i have truly understood and envisage the meaning of faith..
It isn't everyday that you met with accidents...that you fell awkwardly..that you landed yourself on crutches...that you miss a whole week of lesson..that you wanted so much to get things right but then it feels that u are getting everything wrong...that it isn't truly your way that things has occurred..
but yet...
i wasn't reacting the way i reacted if it was a few months back...
Some would say maybe i am tired of reacting..or i am just letting off steam in another manner..
i learnt to let go.
Let go of what wasn't mine to say in the first place.
No doubt i felt pissed when things happen but i supposed i have grown up.
Move on, Trust, Know that His plans is yet still the best for you.
Maybe when you are reading this you might feel that Mr Jen is just procrastinating, shifting his form out output, having no other source of reasoning thats why he will say He trust in God.
For those who know Mr Jen truly, he has changed isn't it?(not just physically of course!)
From then to now, he has gone thru the period of full of zest and energy to work hard for everything..to the one who indulge in self pity and unconscious of life that he blame everything except himself for what ever wrong, to the one who is so emotional time and time again..to who he is now.
Yea i have changed, time and time again. Not that i have make the conscientious effort to but more of i allow what happened to change me. I did not think. I let emotions flood me, i let guilt hold on to me, i let disappointment become an forever excuse not to wake up again, i let my life be a form of statement which effective has no statement at all.And now.
Not that i been through alot. But 2007 has till now been a year more eventful than the past 21 yrs of my life.
I am not being strong or being mature to say all these. But i am being truthful to say God is the one who is the one holding me till now.
Well you might brush it off as i am just being a religious freak or trying too hard to be holy.
You hold your opinions and i respect that.
But i am jus here to tell you that there is a God who loves u and me whether u believe Him or not. He is just waiting for you to know Him. I did.
I ain't preaching. I am just tell the truth.
Believe it or not is up to you:)
~Mr Jen has spoken.