Thursday, September 20, 2007
` 12:07 PM
whenever i listen to the song playing on this blog now..sang by my friend Paul..Written by Aaron..it reminds me of the days where we were just some playful kids jamming around in Jeff's studio..playing for a dream..singing for a passion...
till now..how many years gone by?
it just went by like this...
like the song..
there are times my weathered soul cries
seeking for the wings to fly
up into the clear blue sky
hoping i can see your light
like tears falling from my eyes
sadness shall be driven away
and in your words i shall find
all the peace and joy in due time
how many times we have cried?we have failed to see the light?
well..i hope we can come back together again..though some things would jus remain as memories
while some memories seems to be a distant thought that was created in reply to a constant dream that was formed in the mind..Perhaps it has never occurred at all..but it is still a memory to hold..
For you guys,
our memories hold on...
~Mr Jen has spoken.
Monday, September 17, 2007
` 1:14 AM
Mr Jen is in a confused state now.
Confused about what?
Mr Jen don't exactly know.
About directions in life?about relationships?about family?about schoolwork?about friends?about others?
He has no slightest idea about it.
To speak the truth, Mr Jen find it hard to be living in a state and know that his life should be on another state.
Like an addict, he find is hard to control at times about life.
Knowing its wrong and its hurting people around, yet he find it difficult to resist the draws of it.
What is life when you don surrender all?
What is life when you don let go?
What is life when you don know Him?
What is life when you are down?
What is life when you fallen?
What is life when you doubt?
What is life when you are wrong?
What is life when you cant draw away?
Mr Jen is learning all these.
Questions popping in in mind here and there.
Well, this is not an emo entry.
More of thoughts. More thoughts.
Letting go and surrender is definitely hard.
We'll strive. We'll cry. We'll drive on.
For my friends out there sloughing hard in school, doing tutorials in library, meeting deadlines in office, studying hard for exams, relaxing at home, surfing blogs for fun and reading this:
Don't worry. You are never alone.
Praying for you guys always.
Faith as a pea is enough:)
~Mr Jen has spoken.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
` 1:02 AM
Well..i tink its different nowadays..
After so much that has happened..i have truly understood and envisage the meaning of faith..
It isn't everyday that you met with accidents...that you fell awkwardly..that you landed yourself on crutches...that you miss a whole week of lesson..that you wanted so much to get things right but then it feels that u are getting everything wrong...that it isn't truly your way that things has occurred..
i wasn't reacting the way i reacted if it was a few months back...
Some would say maybe i am tired of reacting..or i am just letting off steam in another manner..
i learnt to let go.
Let go of what wasn't mine to say in the first place.
No doubt i felt pissed when things happen but i supposed i have grown up.
Move on, Trust, Know that His plans is yet still the best for you.
Maybe when you are reading this you might feel that Mr Jen is just procrastinating, shifting his form out output, having no other source of reasoning thats why he will say He trust in God.
For those who know Mr Jen truly, he has changed isn't it?(not just physically of course!)
From then to now, he has gone thru the period of full of zest and energy to work hard for everything..to the one who indulge in self pity and unconscious of life that he blame everything except himself for what ever wrong, to the one who is so emotional time and time again..to who he is now.
Yea i have changed, time and time again. Not that i have make the conscientious effort to but more of i allow what happened to change me. I did not think. I let emotions flood me, i let guilt hold on to me, i let disappointment become an forever excuse not to wake up again, i let my life be a form of statement which effective has no statement at all.And now.
Not that i been through alot. But 2007 has till now been a year more eventful than the past 21 yrs of my life.
I am not being strong or being mature to say all these. But i am being truthful to say God is the one who is the one holding me till now.
Well you might brush it off as i am just being a religious freak or trying too hard to be holy.
You hold your opinions and i respect that.
But i am jus here to tell you that there is a God who loves u and me whether u believe Him or not. He is just waiting for you to know Him. I did.
I ain't preaching. I am just tell the truth.
Believe it or not is up to you:)
~Mr Jen has spoken.