...Thoughts...

Monday, June 11, 2007

` 8:06 PM

20th May 2007

It was pitch dark last night.Total Darkness. Couldn't see at all. I experience the type of darkness without any light. Not knowing where is anything, not able to grab hold of anything. Its terrifying how darkness is. Its scary.

Didn't really sleep well last night with the gecko disturbing and backache. I am not used to slping on flat hard ground. It really hurts. Spent the morning sandpapering the classroom.Its a big difference how their school is, just a room with minimum furniture.

With the kids following every where you go is a very happy feeling.The kids here are just so children.Pure heart, a simple kind of faith. Walked to the back of the house where all the padi fields are. Saw the open field, big sky, smiling children. It makes me feel so small, so different.Both the kids and i are so real but different. We don't understand each other, yet when we see such big sky, we are all His wonderful children. I wonder how these kids see the vast nature they have. I guess they wonder how i tink too. We all wonder how God sees us. Are we significant?

In their eyes, the land is their playground, their home,their life.
They have never and wil probably never get to use internet,tv or car. Their fascination at my camara shows how curious they are. They accepted me without boundary.

In my eyes, this land is a land of foreigners. Its like a scenery but i long for the comfort of my home. Long for technology,long for MY life. I reach them with fear, with caution of illness and sickness. But yet, in them i feel ashamed. I can't find the kind of pureness, innocence. Yet i share their joy in nature, rolling around. running barefooted, all for now only.

In His eyes, He loves each one of us so dearly. So much. Not from where you are, who you are or what you are. His love is still the same.

From Him, From Them, i manage to find the pure joy and happiness in Myself.

What irony.

The floor we slp on....

Sandpapering the classroom....

The school....

The open lake.....

The kids.....

Their home is the field....

~Mr Jen has spoken.