Friday, February 23, 2007
` 2:07 AM
The feeling of out of place is stronger everyday.
The only place i feel i belong is my little room.Only in my little room.
No.Not home.My little room that belongs to me alone.
Weird.
Am i turning into some kind of perverted konky emo hermit?
~Mr Jen has spoken.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
` 1:20 AM
erm.. ya..happy chinese new year...
just to share...
i caught my romanian computing tutor(young and pretty girl form middle europe) coming back from clubbing on saturday morning still dress in the clothes i saw her in for friday tutorial.
She was abit embarassed n in the arms of a suave angmoh youngster.
to think i thought she was a young quiet nice tutor.
well, everyone has a wild side.
~Mr Jen has spoken.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
` 12:31 AM
The problem with Mr Jen is...when he is alone at night listening to songs he should not be...he becomes emo...he starts to think about events of the day...wondering about the what if...questioning the what would be....
then he feels tired...and he dread....then he tear in despair..longing for some sympathy...
None came.
because he ignore the most obvious hand of comfort from above...he wish for something more concrete..more visible..more practical..
but what was given to him was more than enough..yet he struggle and ask
'why?why now?why all at this point?why lift me up and let me fall down all again?'
'why show me the door yet not opening it?why put me through all these?'
There..He stood all the time...
"My grace is sufficient for you. I will not put you beyond what you can bear. What i have for you is for your good and all will be revealed to you. but its all in MY time my child. Not Yours. You came with nothing and will leave with nothing. All was for MY glory not YOURs.I am always here but you never speak to me. Like a father who knows how the son felt but all he wants is the son to say it out before he could comfort. Do not assume that all is known. If you do not speak my child, how can i reply you?if you do not look at me, how can you know i always look at you?if you do not know me, how would you know what i am doing?I never left, you did my child. Those who are last will be first, and those who are first will be last. Served and you will be serve. The great will be humbled, the humble will be make great. What matters is not the eyes of others, but of mine. My child, what do you fear when i am with you?who can be against you?Rely on the strength i give you, not on your own. No man is greater than i. I look after even the smallest creature, what more about you?My Love is still the same."
Mr Jen finally woke up.
He spoke to someone today...
"Do we know Him after being tested or we are tested because we know Him?"
"Everyone has his path, but not everyone has 10yrs to walk like i did"
Mr Jen realise that worry about things, being tired and wanting comfort is part and parcel of life. At the end of the day, Mr Jen needs to focus on what is ahead and not behind and know that what he has is not for himself, but for Him.
Nothing wrong with sulking. but sulk knowing that all these was for your good even when you cant see any good in it. Because if you know the good in it, then He will not be Him anymore, He is like us.
Then all these is like what was said-
Its all but chasing the wind.Empty, empty, empty.
He is the alpha and the omega.(don bother measuring how great is that,its beyond you and me)
~Mr Jen has spoken.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
` 2:21 AM
i asked wayne(my neighbour) about a math question.
me : why is it that you can assume that sin x = e power ix? when by right e power ix = cos x + isinx?
wayne : i copied during lecture lei..lecturer say one lei..i also not sure lei...
me : but how come he can assume?it can be the real or imaginery part as well isn't it?why?
wayne : lecturer say lei....
me : but why lidat?
wayne(puzzled look) : but WHY YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? JUST DO LA...
me : .........
well...i guess alot of time we just do things without knowing why..even when we want to know why we took the easy way out...
what for?what's the point?is it important?
its a dilemma.
the feeling of knowing yet unknowingly not knowing it at all.
~Mr Jen has spoken.
Monday, February 05, 2007
` 11:59 PM
My current profile as generated by the computer base on the colour i chose...linked from ruijie's blog....
You appreciate the better things of life and you don't particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort.
Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.
Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality.
sometimes you wonder how come non-living metal pieces can read you better and more precise than any living person...but again they were generated n 'invented' my the living one afterall...
Too bad...
i still believe in God.
~Mr Jen has spoken.