...Thoughts...
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Monday, September 25, 2006
` 3:08 PM
i know it is coming out..pure instinct...i asked IVAN for support

7988, $10 big $120 small

Prize money - $400k

but the fact remain that he n i have no money...

then i saw a car whose license plate is 8879 on Sunday

i thought to myself isn't it the number that i keep seeing for the past weeks?

Shucks. I walked to Singapore Pools at 230pm and found the queue darn long.

Forget it.i walked home.

Damn.

Sunday - 2nd Prize 8879

Sucks.

I called ivan.

Ivan pick up the call. Listen to me. Hung up.

Ivan called me 10min later.

"Did you say 7988 is the number to buy?"

"ya..but open 8879 sianz...."

"my mother thought it was 9788 then she buy wrongly buy 8879."

i hung up on him.

KILL ME PLS!JUST KILL ME!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 2:30 AM
i finally admit it...

i admit that i am..

too stubborn to change...
too temperamental to accept changes...
too lazy to work things out...
too confident to think i am good enough...
too selfish to believe i am correct...
too tired to realise that i am exhausted...
TOO PROUD TO THING THAT ALL I HAVE ACHIEVED IS THRU MYSELF...

yes i admit and i need to move on....move on fast...

i cannot be stuck and wallow in self pity..indulge in a period of i deserve more...and succumbing to i am what i am....

Mr Jen is moving on in life....

Are you?


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 2:30 AM
i finally admit it...

i admit that i am..

too stubborn to change...
too temperamental to accept changes...
too lazy to work things out...
too confident to think i am good enough...
too selfish to believe i am correct...
too tired to realise that i am exhausted...
TOO PROUD TO THING THAT ALL I HAVE ACHIEVED IS THRU MYSELF...

yes i admit and i need to move on....move on fast...

i cannot be stuck and wallow in self pity..indulge in a period of i deserve more...and succumbing to i am what i am....

Mr Jen is moving on in life....

Are you?


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, September 14, 2006
` 1:14 AM
stop being the person you are.
stop procastinating.
stop lying to yourself.
stop denying.

just stop and look and listen and see.

you will know that it is more than this isn't it?


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006
` 1:23 AM
i realised that all these are somehow my own thinking and concepts...somethings are just purely imagination..purely on my part...

Where are you?
How come i can hear you like i did before?
Why did you not appear again?
Why did you not be obvious but oblivious?
What am i suppose to do?sit and pretend all is nothing?

they say faith is believing without seeing.

Am i suppose to do the same?

I am tired. Maybe i should take a break.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, September 10, 2006
` 3:04 AM
Congrats to Kong Wee and Dorcas on your marriage!

May the Lord bless you newly-wed!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006
` 2:08 AM
i think if certain things in my life nv occur...certain aspect was not that well..certain hopes were not met...certain path was not crossed....certain mistakes were discovered...certain dreams were not achieve...

things might be better..not different...

jus like playing a game..you hope you can noe the result yet restart the game again.

No you cant.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, September 03, 2006
` 3:03 AM
i cried in my heart when i heard she prayed..not for herself but for mum...

it wont happen 10 years ago but it did today..

Tears of jubilation...

Finally.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, September 02, 2006
` 1:45 PM
i realised that news didn't really turn out well these days...

yesterday i woke up with rashes breaking out over my hands n neck..lectures was slowed down by a broken OHP....lectures went by without me understand much...then the call came...

mum needa to go for a check up....doc gave her some med and ask her to rest...she came my room to visit...after delaying so long to bring her to hall i realised i finally did it only when she has to go nuh....

all was fine..till then

Doc called.

ask mum to be admitted to a & e

her blood count was too low and need transfusion.

i stumbled.visted her.talked to her.watch the blood enter her hand.

she has a scheduled scan mid sept.

i thought of the things i took for granted.

i formed up some formulas

Things occurred = Needa be around

Leaving = - Not being around

not being around = Staying

Since needa be around = - not being around = staying,

Things occurred = Staying

maths only give you the equality but when u add in science,

Things occurred BECAUSE of staying

OR

Staying BECAUSE things occurred ?

Rational or Irritional?

i am trying to explain things to myself through science and maths..

which

is irrelevant when it comes to Him.

SUCKS.

Can YOU give me an explanation?


~Mr Jen has spoken.

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