Sunday, June 18, 2006
` 11:19 PM
Up till today i still find it hard to come to grasp with the reality after 2 long years of waiting. I hate the fact that the door was open for me only for a glance. Ppl tell me not to tink so narrowly and that it might be a good thing for me to stay. i aint complaining that things here are worse nor am i not the least interested. In fact, i am eager for the new phase and the new life. Yet i cannot let it go.
Why do YOU have to give me the hope of having it only to take it all away?
Why do YOU have to show me that i can only to tell me i am not enough?
i know that there are certain things which is beyond my understanding and all that YOU have done is for my good. Yet i am unable to come to terms with it that it is indeed for my good. I am sorry.
I need time to sort it out before i can move on. I heard nothing.
Perhaps this trip to HK will help me i hope. I am not expecting anything.
Now i finally know what they mean by pride is something you need to remove for humility to set in.
And i am still stuck in the first stage.
~Mr Jen has spoken.
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