...Thoughts...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

` 10:28 PM

It has come to an end...should i say finally?...My NS life has reached its end i would say...not literally..but laterally...because the final course i am taking has jus ended today....On the vehicle back to camp yesterday after live firing..the feeling is weird....i realised that i will never ever set a step inside the jungle of Lim Chu Kang ever again....I will not don the green uniform and walk around the greenery again...sick isn't it?when every single NSF in the army hates the sight of it and cant wait to get out of it...i admit its sickening when u r out there for days without proper slp..no proper meals...no bathing..its truely sickening...but then i think again..its really true that its only this 2 years of my life that i don think about exams,results and not using my brains for long periods of time...perhaps its my adaptaability is fast such that i will fit into the new environment easily and grow to be accustomed to it...

they say when u reach a new phase of ur life and a cross road....u tend to look back and somehow feel that u do miss some part of it though...

this is what i am feeling now..another phase to move on...

Some time i tink i am being too sentimental and emotional...
Some time i tink i am being too rational and cool headed...
Some time i tink i am being rationally sentimental...

i tink i am the 3rd option now.

Rationalise why i would miss army. Having sentiments on missing army.

Feels like an orange which is sweet but leaves a sour after taste...try it before?

Now as i start the walk to the end of this road...i found myself facing yet another crossroad..

"From the test results, its likely that there are blockages in 2 blood vessels in the heart. I would say you have 2 options, either to go for the operation or to take long term medication. Given the age above 70, i would say that operation has its risk of a second stroke and heart attack. I would not push you for that. Perhaps you can go back and talk to your family members and give us the answer in 6 weeks time in your next appointment?Though we appreciate that you inform us earlier."

"i don't want operation. I don't want a second stroke. Isn't this bad enough?"

"No one says you are going to have another stroke!No doctors can say 100% that it will not happen correct?We have to trust Him right?"

"Hi there!This is calling from Natsteel Asia. Congratualations!Your application is successful!We have sent you a mail and would like you to reply to us by next tuesday?"

"Erm..ok..thank you..."

She wept...

The line went flat...

~Mr Jen has spoken.