...Thoughts...
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Thursday, May 26, 2005
` 4:53 PM


















Your #1 Match: ENFJ




The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.


Your #2 Match: INFJ




The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.


Your #3 Match: ENFP




The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.


Your #4 Match: ESFJ




The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.


Your #5 Match: INFP




The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.



What's Your Personality Type?


you have ur say at my tag board...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, May 23, 2005
` 12:56 AM
a scene kept flashing in my mind since the concert played its last song...it goes...

*tears rolling down her eyes as it turns watery*

"wo nan guo bu shi yin wei wo men shu le...er shi yin wei wo wei yao fei kai le..wo meng jiang gao bie..."

*there she turns and face away from the rest of us..sobbing behind..not letting us see the emotional side of her..*

"xie xie ni men de nu li he zhi chi..hen gao xing neng he ni men yi qi yan chu.........."

* the rest was history...*

the scene is so vivid in my mind though the exact words were not these but the meaning still applies...those were the words of the vice president of AJCO 2002-2003..after the long journey of gold and finals..her calm and cool character finally give way...u are remembered...

watching the ajco and band concert jus now..no doubt in my heart the best is still...i felt so home..to the feeling...when i closed my eyes listening to the co music..i imagine myself walking up the stairs..towards the co room...look inside..into the room..floor of wood...the hugh mirror..the storeroom...the chairs...old conductor table..the conductor stool i stole from chem lab 3..the stands..windows..it felt like a second home to me...a place where i spend so much of my time and effort..trying to hold everyone tog...now its jus a memory..a swt memory...i miss co...esp ajco 19th batch...i miss all of u..thank you so much for all that u have given me..to make me grow..make me strong..make me understand that i alone cant make it happen..

when i open my eyes to the new juniors...their standards..are so so high...i dunno about their bonding..but i noe our tradition is there..the sense of closeness and care we had for each other..its part of us..our instrument..and of course..our teacher and conductor..yellow...i felt comforted for what we have achieve and we will be achieving...its like babysitting a small kid and now watching it grow after teaching it to walk...he is running now..soon..he will sprint....good job juniors...good job...

enough of co..now back to my life...eat eat eat...had supper at the esplanade...the roadside hawker shifted there..so nice the hokkien mee...heh...so nice to eat with someone u love..so nice to jus be with the special person...isn' t it sorta...wonderfu?

my eyes are closing...i am tired...time to Zzzzzz...goodnight...

^3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers to AJCO..hip hip hurray hip hip hurray hip hip hurray!!^


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, May 16, 2005
` 11:47 PM
listening to a piece...yes i call it a piece..not a song..its really v beautiful...though its classified as a new age song..i take as a classical..its v v nice..combination of symphony and chinese orchestra..explicit...wonderfully mixed...

as i was playing the drums today at yyxz...something jus came into my mind..i cant focus..i can find the feel to play properly...i jus lost it....then i realised..i am not focusing at God..i am not enjoying my service for him..i am doing things for myself..suddenly i feel so alienated from Him...i feel so out of touch..like a lost soul searching for a place to find warmth...but i am glad i am nv forsaken..never...

thinking through all the past and now...so many things have change and happen from jc until now..jus feel that time is beyond man control..no matter how much we try to make the best out of it..we are still at its mercy..or we feel that we are at its mercy...i thought...i think..i am thinking...i came to conclude...

if we don take time into any consideration..time is actually at our mercy...

think through it...

going malaysia for the next 2 days..hope i can enjoy..hope...

miss ya...

yanni ~ nightingale


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, May 12, 2005
` 10:49 PM
A conversation i keep hearing for e last 3 days

"Mortar 2!Action front!Charge 4, Elevation xxxx xxxx!Ready!Fire!"

"Fire!"

BOMB!

"05 this is 51 SILVER first shot out. Over"

ok..it might be alien to the girls reading this..even to some guys...shall explain abit..its the command a mortar platoon commander will give when he wan his platoon to fire off the mortars to support the rest of the battalion in their assault on the enemies...if u still don understand this..skip this part..

Continues...

bloging proper...ok i was out in the field for the last 3 days to access one of the active unit in there exercise aka missions.Accessing their mortar platoon, coz i m supposedly specialized in mortar thoughi haven attend mortar course yet, and determining their state of readiness. Frankly speaking, if there is war now, i would not wan this platoon to protect me. They are not ready yet, but they are improving.i hope.

Nevertheless, i was able to learn alot of things about the mortar..the calculations,deployment and stuff related..all become more applicable than jus readin it up.not jus about mortar, also on how to manage junior sub commanders and man who has no motivation to carry out their drills. Cant blame them, man have their mentality too.Gain alot though i slp quite less,drink lots of coffee and coke..heh..maggie mee..and my ucleri s killing me..ouch..

Though learnt alot..it stuck me that wat i learn back at ocs..all those tekan sessions when we do drills again and again..do movement again and again..repeating similar missions...all these are of great use now..that i can actually see it when i become an instructor, a teacher. i start to realised how come i will get kick to push or knock it down when i don cover and conceal myself well when on battlefield...or i fall aslp when doing sentry..or not putting in effort to dig shell scrape..its all about surviving when e real things occurs..and it might jus occur...so real and scary..haiz..life..

3 days out in e field was fruitful..but missing someone isn't a good feeling:p...i have to learnt how to cope with it isn't it?:(i hope i can..

anw..when on my way back to camp sitting at the back of the jeep aka mv car...travelling at a speed of 50km/h...i dunno y but some thoughts of my life suddenly appear...and i start to see e bigger pictures of my life...the picture god would like me to see?i hope so..but i am thankful God has His plan for you...the door will be open to u if u are to go thru it..there is always a NO to request...but its not a YOU CANT MAKE IT...its jus a NO THIS ISN"T UR PATH...isn't it amazing?even when we were driving in the cemetry in pitch dark i feel so comforted...thank You...

okie thanx for all ya concern..my lab report is out...not cancerous..not infection..not parasite...its jus......





normal la....heh...thanx alot:)

glad to be back...getting a life...newly re-lease...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, May 07, 2005
` 11:09 PM
Awaken by a sms..8.17am..

"Hi jianen..this is jeremy..current ajco treasurer..regarding the concert tix i reserved e $20 for u..instructed by chen laoshi..ok?"

firstly i dunno how he got my number..worse i dunno who is he...but at least i feel abit remembered?ha..self consoled...but its ok...its ME..

was troubled by e stomach for the past week...keep having this churning feeling inside after i ahd my meals..finally went to see e doc yest...and he claimed that it might be a parasite infection..worse..some colon cancer stuff...eeks...wanted my stools(aka shit) for my lab test..hafta shit into this bottle this morning and send it to the clinic FRESH...YUCKS!..ok...no more details...

had a happy lunch..though abit short:(..no choice..someone is busy...heh..okok...then went home and slp slp slp..watch vcd....having a headache now...slp too much..argh..

mum is sick as well..so now mum's day dinner tomolo...postponed..hmm...

read rj n sharon blog..hmm...i guess...gold is jus a name ba..having been thru it..realised nothing can replace the process..as long as we don have regrets and give the best on stage..well..the award is jus a summary of our work...a sign that telling all is coming to an end...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
` 10:15 AM
I am an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.
My duty is to Lead, to Excel, and to Overcome.
I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training, morale, and discipline.
I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride, honour, and integrity.
I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination.
I dedicate my life to Singapore.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005
` 10:26 PM
there seems to be alot of cross junction in my life these days..or it was always there but i nv tak note of it?...i jus keep wondering about all the decisions i need to make..to believe or not?to accept or not?to go or not to go?alot of thoughts are flooding my mind..yet.. i choose not to look at them..not even glance...

Fear..you can say...Reluctance perhaps...jus wan to be what my life is now..happy and satisfied and not to think of any other things..but i noe i cant..

i cant run.

The day has to come when all will be decided.when i have to stand up and speak for myself,my action,my decision.i tried to be decisive but voices inside me telling me not to be hasty..not to be rash..

i noe i should seek Him..i need to...i must...but i am not...

i am trying..to make it simple between me and Him..i hope it works...Give me a little bit more time pls...

They won gold today..flashes of 2 years ago came back...the place i sat and drop my tears when they announce it..vivid yet distant...congrats juniors...you did it...remember the days...it will nv come back again..but it will serve as a memory for u..

time is ticking...i am thinking..He is listening...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

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