Thursday, April 14, 2005
` 3:05 PM
sitting in my office now..drained..jus finished going through the vetting of 2 lesson plans and i have still got one more to go...supposed to hand them in by mon..guess i can do it by today?...efficient:)....but i feel lazy now..wanna slp...wanna slack..my course is only gonna start on 30th may..argh..for now..i will jus be a clerk...
hmm..thinking alot these few days...i noe i shouldn't but i did..so...hmm..i am actually living v happily now:)...holding on to soemthing i feel so dearly to and cherishing every moment i have...but the thought of losing the grip of it keep going through my mind..emotionally i din wanna let go but morally and rationally i have to..its the ironic part of man...i really dunno what i will become without that special character in my life..not too far off from now...though its temporary but its a long temporary...anxiety and saddness is overcoming my sense of happiness and satisfaction in my life....can i deal with it?
also thinking about my scholarship.....still haven got a call...is it wat God wan for me to stay?...or is it my own inability to get a place?...i tried not to think...i cant...Leave it in God's hands please...stop thinking...
don worry i ain't depress or anything..too xin fu to be depress at the moment...wat the future lies i do not noe...but i wil and i must hold on to you not now or for the yrs to come but forever...
~Mr Jen has spoken.
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