...Thoughts...
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
` 6:51 PM
Service in church was very meaningful, the message and seeing people getting baptize. Really hope to be there one day, to be accepted into the fanily officially even though i have been at church since i am born but i wasn't baptize even as child. i know that day isn't soon, i don even know will it ever come, i pray.Sometimes just wonder whether God is angry with me for not taking the extra step to make things right. I think i took the step but din't take a big enough one?there is so much i wan to do yet its not within my grasp, i am giving up...giving up totally..

slept the whole afternoon, woke up v early today to sao mu but din go eventually due to jam.
got invited by keppel corp for a tea reception but again i cant go because its on 2nd April.
hmm shall let god lead...

1 more week.....

finally...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 1:10 AM
after the whole morning of rehearsal...i am sorta tired....but the full dress rehearsal was full..though our standard today is really bad..scolded by commander...jiayou...

though tired in the morning....the evening was v v v v v v v nice and sweet...
a v v v v v v v v happy day...:)


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, March 25, 2005
` 7:11 PM
got my sword yesterday...finally...got the scroll of appointment...after so long....haz...its 10months for this day...next week is the finally week..so fast we have reach the end of this road...at the junction to another phase....
i got the posting...to school of infantry weapons...as a platoon comd...i really dunno wat this posting is all about..abit disappointed...because i always wanted to go to unit to experience some combat life but it seems tat there is no slots for me...haiz....
met xiong,harn and kai for a short tea jus now..loong time nv see each other...quite fun..but hafta book in...haiz....when supper last night with the cck gang+hongwei...eat some prata but think its making my stomach feels funny..feel v bloated...argh...suddenly feel tat i m in a lone suffering phase of pain....ha...irritating tots....nvm..another day passed.......

u jus don feel right when someone is missing from ur life...:(


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
` 8:41 PM
something special happened....
its gonna influence my whole life...
it means alot to me...
and i am thankful about it...

getting my sword tomolo...

xin fu too:)


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, March 21, 2005
` 8:35 PM
thinking too much lately..making me kinda going low...dunno y...dunno y am i into such heavy thoughs..perhaps its something i read..or perhaps it something someone wrote...jus cant get out of the thinking box..argh..

cant go for the 2 interview tomolo...no approval...

argh...

my head is exploding with thoughts...

:(


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, March 20, 2005
` 8:39 PM
nothing can hide my happiness and xin fu ness..

i bought a shade!!!!

booking in...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, March 19, 2005
` 5:43 PM
my bunk..i m a neat person Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 5:37 PM
well bbq today under the hot sun....parade rehearsals....isn't tat nice afterall...10months of training waiting for this day..now i m not sure that i wanna go thru it..haz...man is ironic....finish reading one book out of the 4 book i bought...5 person u meet in heaven..hmm truely interesting..hmm...nice...

got alot of things coming up...alot of going thru the motion thing..think its about time i wake up my ideas in life...hahz....tink about the future abit...it isn't tat scary right?....

my feet hurts...blisters everywhere...

my back hurts...think i sprain it...

i eye is red...contcts is killing me..

my butt is aching from yesterday's PAC..

Old.


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005
` 7:45 PM
guess wat?its me! Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 7:40 PM
gosh its faded but can u recognize who r they?ha...L to R..my 2nd bro,me,cousin yang n big bro..haha Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 7:30 PM
went for singapore power and LTA scholarship interview le...sometimes i jus tink i can read the interview's mind yet i cant come up with ans they wan?...ha...i can really predict wat they gonna ask wat they tinking but jus can say something to impress them..hmm guess god will lead me to whether i shld go abroad?...hmm....

i dunno wat to say...some happiness cant be express in words?...or paragraph?or essay?..

*the chopper is coming*:p


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, March 14, 2005
` 11:01 PM
back at home again...tomolo got interview at singapore powers..so gotta come back...hmm..kinda scared now...so much i wanted a scholarship yet so little effort which i am willing to put in?..ironic..

hmm...human r ironic in the first place isn't it?...
ponder,...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 12:57 AM
bought 3 books at mph today..using my year ago voucher..still got some left..any takers?..heh...hmm...spend the day in church and home...nothing else...jus realise it doesn't matter what place u in..but is the ppl that make the situation special..hmm...am i tinking too much again?...hmm....

Jus to say..this weekend was especially sweet to me...jus because of 1 person?...:)....1 pig...thank you for everything....

*happiness is in the air*...true happiness...something i nv felt before....:o)


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, March 12, 2005
` 9:05 PM
alot happen the past 2 days...both good and bad....which one should i start with?....hmm....good things first..hmm..bought my dv cam...its 1700 bucks with all the goodies...afterall i saved 1900 which was the price at IT fair...heh...was walking around suntec with mum and dad...haven really been out with them for a long time..as in jus me and them...nice...had a fun and great time for dinner with a sweet pig..heh...watch Hitch..a brainless funny show...then sit in the middle of orchard rd on the seats beside the path way..it was a nice feeling...v sweet one...where u really hope time jus stop there and nv move again...:)...oh and a ai xin durian roll...heh...then the nigth at chinablack celebrating harn's birthday...here come the bad part..

i dance abit too much at chinablack now my back ache..heh...then the guy who cause harn's misery appear...i dunno wat to say..but i jus hope things r going fine for her...i mean...wat i wan to say the others have said...so...we r all waiting for u harn..to be up again...oh and my ankle is painful again...shucks..and i got lock out last night thanx to bro..heh..idiot..

spent the day at home,roaming at lot 1...seeing doc..thinking alot of things...jus feel that..alot of things happen v fasts...and usually the nicest things and sweetest things happen fast?...the bad times will come...and its only through the bad times that u really learn to appreciate the precious moments in ur life...how i jus wish i can erase all the bad memories and jus had a brain of all sweet memories.....how i wish...some scars jus cant be remove....some pain jus linger inside u...is it a obstacles that appear in ur own life or a block we put it infront of ourselves....i can only question...answers has eluded me for ages...continue to ponder...

Haven had the feeling of happiness and care for a long time...really v happy...but worried too...somehow...jus scared that it will once again be gone....if it does...guess at least its still a fond memory for me...or the last one of fond memory....

Something is still wrong with me...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, March 10, 2005
` 11:45 PM
ok..Blogspot seems to be crashing..is it?...i dunno..hope not....feel kinda sickly this whole week...but after i get home...the feeling seems to be gone?is it coz of camp?...hmm...
suddenly realised i got two more week..no more outfield exercises le..kinda miss the pass months of toil?...time really fly?...hmm..jus like the way i pass my jc life?...hmm..getting old as the day goes by..

Got called up by Singapore Powers and LTA for interview...i dunno whether i wan them but i hope i will get to study abroad?..its a dream..i hope it doesn't jus remain one?..haiz...God will lead

Failed my theory test again....shucks..

something is really wrong with me..hmm....


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, March 07, 2005
` 7:57 PM
Alright..i am still at home...though i have off till today..i spend the whole day home..not really well..the viral infection is killing me..making me well and unwell as and when it like...argh..i hate this feeling...beta get well soon...

Basically was slping the whole day...except eating meals....talked to harn in the morning...she isn't totally alright but i hope she will get beta as the days goes?..gal..don tink too much k..we r all here with u...waiting for u to stand up again..jiayou!...

QT today was rather special...a valuable lesson...it was saying that man always complain about his mundane life...the routine that they have to go through..which is true...man always wan to have new thrills in life beyond all these routines...and we kept complaining to God to break away from this kinda of life...but we nv thought of using these routine times to improve our relationship with Him?it takes alot for man to sit down and talk to God when ur life is nothing but jus routine and not to complain but give thanks...very true...Haiz..will i ever be able to achieve it?...hmm.....

going back to camp now...sometimes...i jus feel that it need not be a group of frens cheering u on or people encouraging u that u feel motivated...
Jus knowing that someone is always there to care and thinks about u is enough:)


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, March 06, 2005
` 9:12 PM
alright...this hasn't been a great week for me at all...all these tests and lessons is making me think again...tink again of myself, my life and me...suddenly realise that i have put too much emphasis on my own ideology and thinking that i have somewhat lost track of sight in life..maybe i shldn't put it as lost track of sight...more of seeing a blurred vision of my path ahead...and of God?....sometimes i jus hope that things can be much more simpler?...or is it me thinking too much that results in me dwelling in it?...well...i have to accept that life isn't smooth sailing always...its those hip ups that make u keep faith in Him?..or break away from Him....recently i have seen alot of cases of ppl around me breaking away from God...its a pulling effect that starts to influence me now....shld i say i allow it to influence me?...i know its wrong...yet...i cant find any excuses or reasons for it?...hope its jus a phase like i always tell ppl...not a change....

enuff of those crap...at least got some gd things which makes me feel that sunshine is always after the rain...a fren who came back and stood up again..*clap clap*.....jiayou harn!...an improving health...*at last!*...a very nice n happy lunch time with a special person.....*yay*...and a pair of contact lens....Hope i can start to see things clearly again...hope...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, March 05, 2005
` 12:28 AM
never felt so sianz and low for quite a long time...is it becoz of me or the surrounding?...myself...perhaps like wat they its a cycle of ups and down?...sometimes it takes to be scooped low to know how it feel to be up there isn't it?...never be too confident of urself...trust in the Lord...

No matter what..i am just glad that i hav u with me always:p


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, March 03, 2005
` 11:55 PM
not feeling good...got the flu feeling..argh...cant take it..kinda of a bad day today...din do well in the morning test..afternoon grading i passed but nv really did well..now got the flu thingy..argh...jus feel haiz..i dunno...tomolo still got sentosa...haiz...wat more can i ask for?....bad day....


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005
` 6:56 PM
i am feeling the ache in my body now..after the whole day of break falls...jumping...and kicking...argh..cant there be anything more stupid than this?...worst still there is a stupid infantry assault bridge for me to cross today...walked in gear for about 3km juz to cross a 20m bridge?ah!!!!!army is making me stupid...argh!...ok...enough of complaining...heh..at least i passed my test?...1st for the week..haz...jiayou!...

Thanx pig:0)..


~Mr Jen has spoken.

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