...Thoughts...
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Monday, February 28, 2005
` 9:00 PM
alright..my body is aching...ouch..plus an elbow onto my head during combat fighting...shucks...ah!....juz feel kinda wat they call?out of sort?...heh...i dunno....but its beta now i guess?...anyway i hope i din flop today's test..kinda lost when doing it..it was the hardest choice of paper we got...hard luck!...

Liverpool lose 3-2 to Chelsea...the irritants blue won their first trophy..shucks

xuan got back her results today..9 pt..not bad huh cousin..congrats!!!heh..happy for ya...:0)
read harn's blog...eh gal glad u r alright:)..doesn't matter u mention us or not...jus to let u noe we r here for u?or shld i say many ppl r here for u:)..doesn't matter we r first or not..we r still here...eh u got the choice to choose which one of us k?..heh...jiayou!..

feel happy talking to you even for e short time pig..even for the short time..:o)


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, February 27, 2005
` 7:13 PM
"We pass through the present with our eyes blindfolded. We are permitted merely to sense and guess at what we are actually experiencing. Only later when the cloth is untied can we glance at the past and find out what we have experienced and what meaning it has."

Milan Kurdera, Laughable Love


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:54 PM
ok i jus flood my blogs with yesterday's pics...not alot la act...heh...sorry guys if e captions is kinda..ha...relax..jus joking....

ok i overslp today again..din went for cg...only for service...came back n i slp again..i m not pig k...its call tiring..heh..then realised i got tactics test to study for next week...haiz...i din really study..or i dunno how to..jus so many things...2 paper...5 plus hours...its madness!..its army not uni..y r they torturing us?!!!!!......still got advance theory test on fri..and my combat fightin grading test...and high confidence course next week where i hafta jump down from dunno how many storey high?..ah..i m stress up...okok..relax relax....suddenly a jam pack week...argh!....

Guixiong told me to read up szuharn blog..we dunno wat happen to her about running away or the things she is going through...but harn if u r readin this...we r here for u k?it doesn't matter that we haven see each other for ages or u nv ever mention us in ur blogs:p...remb we will stand by u... :0) jiayou!..hope to meet up with u soon..e 4 of us with arrah in our heart:p

well..going back to camp...gonna check out my schedule..heh...5 more wk to go!!!!
yay!!!!hang on...

*goal of the week : to pass all tests!!!!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:50 PM
ok e irritants...hahahz Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:47 PM
e last one...our mama san Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:46 PM
okz miss haojie Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:45 PM
e ah lianz kw..heh.. Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:44 PM
hanz n miz Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:43 PM
gosh i think my class is filled with gays!!!heh..ah dianz Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:42 PM
trying t oact cute winnie Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:42 PM
the gay magnet arthur Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:40 PM
ivan!!!! Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:39 PM
my twin bro fanglong Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:38 PM
e guys.... Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 6:37 PM
18/02 class outing!! Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 2:33 AM
booked out today...kinda of tired coz yesterday was having coastal navigation till late into the night...tried on the No.1 uniform in the morning...jus feel its so fast that i am wearing again..this time for my comms parade....so fast...

had class gathering in the evening...15 of us went...hmm..let me see...kk,liwen,fanglong,ivan,weitien,loh wei,guoyi,zhihan,luke,arty,hildya,winnie,chai hsia and kaiwei..ha..not bad for a class outing...went to for dinner at MW...then a drink near conrads...talk alot..did alot of catching up...and of course took alot of photos..heh..will upload it tomolo...oh ya..fl if u r reading this...u have join e league of childish pigs?..ha...jus feel that time passed so fast that our class was like 2 yrs ago?...cant believe it..but life goes on isn't it?...hope we can always have this sorta gathering..haz..

yesh..Man u won..i m so tired now..gotta slp..goodnight :p...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, February 26, 2005
` 12:02 PM
nice:p Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, February 24, 2005
` 5:53 PM
alright..haven been blogging for ages...since last week?...ha...too lazy and busy to write anything...book out and in and training..suddenly i only got like 37 days to commissioning?..so near yet so far...beta don think about it...this week in camp got quite a number of outfield...tink i m too used to slacking that i start to dread outfield..ha..its too much..muz buck up!my tummy is coming back..shucks!..

tomolo is coastal navigation..out in the waters n boat the whole day...haiz..sianz...these few days are so hot...the weather is killing me plus all the mosquitoes in my bunk...can the weather be better?...argh...

stop it weihong...don look while i m typing...alright...mr ngee weihong is beside me now trying to see how to blog...loser!!!!alright..the incoming SOM?...heh...

feeling tired these days..the tv in my bunk is stealing my slp...too tempting for me and others that my room has become an entertainment room...ha...pros and cons...

jus got my peer appraisal back...was quite shock that it was still alright..lucky the platon nv condemn me..ha...i survived...still got 2 more days to book out...ah!!!jiayou ar..

"Its always good to be appreciated and care for:)"


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
` 7:37 PM
alright..life in the army never seems so slack before..heh...image i got nights out yesterday night for the sake of v day....heh..though i don really need it anyway...then today was like lessons end at 3 plus then i went playing soccer?...hahz..now i am in the cadet mess typing this...m i dreaming?..hehz...but after so much suffering..its about time?...haz...6 more weeks to go..suddenly everything seems to pass so fast so quickly..memories seems to be from yesterday and tomorrow doesn't seems tat far more any...or is it?...now i am thinking about the future...i dare to think about it now?...i guess...its not tat far anymore...well...believe in Him and
He will lead...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, February 13, 2005
` 7:25 PM
so fast..its sunday and i am going back le...cant help but think that this chinese new yr came and went so fast...but i guess its the only chinese new year so far that i have learnt to cherish alot of things like my family and time..thank you Lord..

went church today..first in a month...miss the time in church...as i walked down the railway mall toward church..i kept thinkin of the days in brunei when i was doing survival one sunday..i was thinkin of what is for service that sunday...suddenly i starts to appreciate everything around me..they are there always around me but i jus din cherish them..only when i 'lost' them did i miss them..weird right man?its always the case....but from now on it will be different for me?..ha

actually wanted to make contact lens today but the optician told me tat i am not suitable to wear those non-permanent lens coz my eyes curvature is different...i need to make special ones to suit my eyes...haiz...special me...but its alright...nothing wrong with that..heh..saved money...7.30pm le..gotta go back...haiz..back to camp..but i m bring my tv back..heh..smuggle...well..another week to go jiayou!...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 1:52 AM
met up with the rowdies today..the swiss gang....6 of us but one din make it today..beng was still in camp...quite nice to catch up with kai,louis,cai and xiong...never forgetting how we went thru our troubled sec sch dayz...ha...went for tuan bai at fiona's hse after tat..sorta weird when it comes to me going to tuan qi...feel abit out of place...but i m trying to go back:0)..hope i can though i do feel abit lost with myself in tuan qi nowadays..don hav e sense of belonging i used to hav?...had steamboat at jiafa's place and watch some soccer...it was quite fun though hang ard with church frenz...feel so much like a civilian but i m not..haiz...i m tired....this chinese new year is really one which i appreciate alot...alot of things happened...and alot of things din...but i guess life goes on isn't it?....cherish wat u have is the most important....my com is crashing..argh...nvm...thank you Lord!..


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, February 11, 2005
` 1:16 AM
Really v happy today..visited my long lost tang ge today...haven seen them for yrs even when one of them was in the same jc as i?shame shame...but to meet up today was really good...feel good...went to uncle house after that..saw cousin's baby boy..so cute...wonder what will i be like whenh i have my own son?...heh...can imagine tat..haz...had dinner at east coast with my family..mum,dad,bros..really v happy for the outing...really cherish it alot..was missing home so much in brunei...really appreciate it so much...Thank you Lord!..feel so loved at home:p


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, February 10, 2005
` 1:03 AM
happy chinese new year!..so happy today..woke up late..went to granny house in the noon to bai nian..miss her so much...we were talking about when i was young how naughty mi and bro was...she is 75 this year le...time fly so fast...i am 20 tis yr..haiz...but everyone grow up don they?..jus hafta live with it..
managed to call aunt in nz today..think she is coming back this yr...cant wait to see my two young cousins...haz...had the whole extended family over for dinner today...really so happy to see everyone though cousin keong went to china to visit his in-laws...was thinking a week ago i was still in the jungle of brunei..now i am back..so fortunate...i am jus so happy to be able to type here...^_^..thank you lord!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005
` 1:34 PM
yes..i am back from brunei...yesterday morning flight SQ 8991 back to singapore...i was really happy..very very happy....to be back..first thing i did was to ask dad go jalan kayu buy prata for a good breakfast...its the dream io had been having during my exercise..nice prata...the whole of yesterday was all about buying clothes and preparing for reunion dinner..i miss home alot...went town to shop with bro..bought a top..99 bucks...ex huh?but its once a while la..so its ok..dinner was great...super good..i promise myself..nv to let myself go hungry again whenever i can..never...after wat i gone through..i can understand how the tsunami victims felt without food...the african famine...most importantly..how strong jesus was fasting 40 days in wilderness and yet resist devil's temptation...learn alot of things...how much i cherish the things around me..the simple things...the badge i got for jcc (jungle confidence course) is a bonus...nothing can be compared with the experience i gained...nothing...

i have made a diary of the time in brunei..i will write it all out here in this blog..heh..a review of times in brunei...anyway..i read this particular paragraph while reading a book when i was so bored in brunei after training...mr choo zhengxi's book..our future lawyer...heh..very very meaningful..it summarize my trip in brunei...so..hope i inspires whoever read it..Happy Chinese New Year..

"We pass through the present with our eyes blindfolded. We are permitted merely to sense and guess at what we are actually experiencing. Only later when the cloth is untied can we glance at the past and find out what we have experienced and what meaning it has."

Milan Kurdera, Laughable Love

Brunei recaptured...

180105
First day in brunei, it isn't as bad as i thought in terms of the facilities. It was better than Taiwan. Had a few lessons today and was rushing to pack for tomorrow's navigation exercise. My hp network was abit off, can do all things except sending sms. Tried msging but just couldn't get through.End up calling instead.first day.Jiayou!

210105
Wasn't free t0 write for the last few days. Had exercise Batayan and Chindit. Really shack. Slept for only like 4 hours for 3 dayz. i fell out halfway throught Chindit because of my ankle. Its swollen again. I hope by the time i go for JCC it'll be better.i hope..

220105
Went throught survival training today. was quite gross wheb u see them slaughter the quell, chicken, rabbit and catfish. " For one to survival, one must die." the motto. is it? Tomorrow phase 1 of JCC, Ex nomad. I hope i can go through it safe and sound ,not injuring my ankle again. Just called home, i miss all of them.

250105
I've lost track of which day is which. Just went through Nomad and pass it with 8/10. Was really scared initially when i couldn't find the 3rd checkpoint in the second day and only do so this morning. But still managed to reach the endpoint by 10am today. I feel like a camel nowadays. Carrying load and doing nothing except pacing.Haiz. Talking to wing commander about the missing signal accessories issue where someone never send it in. Wing Comd thought i have check the whole wing during the sending but i only check platoon 3. i was very discouraged when he say that the items were found even after i check, making me sound so irresponsible. Its platoon 2 that never send it. i was jus a volunteer to help Lim Aik. Not even an IC!Just a helper yet got arrowed and blamed for all these. Am i trying too hard?i was trying to be a follwer at times. Just feel saddened by what he said.Argh.
Today is 2nd bro birthday. Happy birthday bro. i dont really miss home but i miss my family. so many things happen today. Tears are in my eyes now but i m not crying. jus saddened. Sorry Lord. I should have control my emotions and temper.

260105
Days in brunei are getting faster. Tomorrow is Chillhermit, JCC phase 2, and folloed by last phase Chillbone. 10 days out there surviving. i am kinda scared of the isolation during survival but i guess it'll make me stronger?God is with me. After chillbone we are going home.REally miss my family,mum,dad,bros.i really hope everything will be fine and i get the JCC. i'll do my best always. Glad to see that i am getting better with my buddy zhenghan. Do your best Jian'En!God is with you!

270105
Day 1 into chillhermit. I haven eaten anything yet. Constructed the A frame and fireplace today. The frame fell 3 times, knocking into me. Feel so tired but the day has passed isn't it?My site is just by the River Apoi. Me, Lester, Zhenghan, Hongwei, Ben and David are quite close to each other. Its very dark here at 7pm.gonna slp at 8.Goodnight.

280105
2nd day. I completed the 2 traps, roofing for my firepladce and half the roofing for my A-frame. Had many short naps todat, was too tired at times because i haven't eating anything at all. I hope everything will passed and the food comes tomorrow. Had quite a few dreams today about home and about life.i'll press on!

290105
Today is reward day. i've got the ferns and 2 small sweet potato as reward. Not alot but at least its some food? Not to forget i killed the quell today,skin it and eat it. Murderous?Abit. but i don't really feel anythihng even when holding the warm body. Is it survivor's instinct to kill? Or is it part of what i am taught?"For ojne to survive, one must die". Getting frustrated because i just don't seems to be able to start a fire. Have to join Lester and Zhenghan. I feel so loser.Nonetheless, i'll try my best. Day 3 passed.Jiayou!i miss mum,dad and bros.

300105
Day 4 and i'm beginning to feel tthe fatigue in me. My legs are jelly, arm strength-less. Keep knocking out because io am too weak to continue. Black out whenever i squat too long. Cramps keep coming and i even have difficulty writing this. but when i see Lester being so active, i am ashame of myself. I need to press on.Suddenly i thought of the food at home.miss mum's cooking.Never realise how fortunate i was. i miss curry, the dessert, sweet and sour pork, miss the drink mum made, i miss home alot. Wonder how are they doing now. Wonder how is service in church today. Wonder is anyone back there still remember me?i am thinking too much.Time to rest.

310105
Today is the final and assessment day for survival. i don't knoe how much i've got but i'm jus happy that its over. He didn't really check me but tested my traps and shelter. really glad that its over. 5 more days and i am out of here. i really miss home. Was fishing with the rest of them. Feel so happy suddenly when we were talking about food. At least we still have each other.FEll into the river just now. Super unlucky but not very wet except for my boots. Tomorrow is another challenge. it'll be over soon.Thank you Lord for guiding me this far.

020205
2nd day of Chillbone. We have reack checkpoint 2. i'm proud of what i've achieved with God's help, getting me so far even when i started at LP250, the worst route and farthest startpoint. I am really happy to reach here.Feel so happy with my team though i may not be of much help to them. 6 more days to going home. i really miss it. i want to go home.

030205
Yes!i made it back today.Managed to complete Chillbone 2 days before time, under 30 daylight hours. It was tough but sweet when i think back. i will remember the time when my legs ache so much yet i pushed on. The time when i am so hungry yet no food. The time i feel like crying out yet no tears. I will never forget it .called home. Miss everyone. Talked to mum and really miss her. I never ever miss home so much before in my life. I am coming home!
whack the food in the canteen till i m so full. Everything taste so nice. its good to be back 1st place. Thank you Lord! Oh ya, i will never forget the time when i feel so lonely and helpless yet He is always there for me comfort me, lead me and look over me.The numerous time i cried out to Him for guides to my checkpoints, for perseverance. The time i climbed mount teluggong, the vertical rocks, when i near fall to my death coz of fatigue yet He provide the strength to push me on. Thank You Lord!I'm blessed to know You and receive you salvation. Truely blessed.

080205
Flying off soon.feel so excited.i want to go home so badly. This trip in Brunei has taught me so much things. How important it is to place faith in Him, have a preview of what Christ went through though mine is like nothing compared to His. Knowing these make me realised how much God love us that He gave us His son, iyt cannot be measures. Learnt also to appreciate things around us. Especially my family. i am grateful for the support i get from my family and friends. This experience might not have change me as a person but i has widen my perspective,my insight on life.To you who was always there for me, thank you:)


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Music ;

Express Yourself LIVE

Mr Jen ;

Current Mood : Pondering

Want ;

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