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Monday, January 17, 2005
` 10:23 PM
flying off in about 4 hrs time...feel kinda of scared?..was talking to yijian jus now..both of us is scared tat we will fall sick...e tot of going there is filled with fear and joy...fear of the training...joy for its the last major exercise we are going thru....wat else can we do but pray?..the last few days QT was actually v comforting...i wonder is it God answering me?...today's one was about God being there for us always...Hewill always be...Thank you Lord..

trying hard to stay focuse now....find it hard when alot of thoughts are in my mind...spent the whole day at home other than going out for lunch,see doc and post letters....i will miss hope...miss frens...miss everyone..22days out there isn't really what i wan but hafta go thru it ya?..hmm...dad and mum is sending me there...i hope everything goes well..

not going to blog for a long long time le ma...22days later...by the time its chinese new yr le..well..i hope i will be back safe and sound...miss everyone...including u....jiayou!...till then...goodbye...

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, January 16, 2005
` 11:49 PM
slacked the whole day at home...actually abit bored but i don feel lik going out either..haz..went to church and had a little same accident in CG today with esther collided into one of the other gals..think got a cut in her scalp which make her bled quite profusely..but she was alright after sharon n glen sent her to a nearby clinic...relief..

oh ya..singapore won the tiger cup today!..beating indonesia 2-1 and 5-2 on aggregate...hehz...nv see singaporeans so hot on national team for so long...but the performance of the national team today was actually quite good...so...more to come in the future?..heard that today's zan mei hui was quite good...yesterday one was not bad...hmm...Praise to the Lord!

think i quite pig today..came home have lunch then slp till evening..dunno why..jus feel so tired..then had a nightmare of being lost in jungle of brunei..Eeks..its getting the creep in me to think that i m flying off tomolo..haiz..its kinda sad..when i tot of the days i will be there...without any connection to the world outside..haiz...don wish to think so far...read a verse in QT today....quite comforting though...thinking whether is it something God is trying to tell me?...i hope so...well..i have to go thru some toughness to know wat is call comfort right?..haz..self comforting....haiz..wait for tomolo then...

"If anxiety and dread are lurking on the threshold of your tomorrow, remember God's wonderful promise-
'Fear not, for i am with you; be not dismayed, for i am your God. I will strengthen you, i will help you, i will uphold you with my righteous right hand.'

Isaiah 41:10"

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, January 15, 2005
` 12:44 AM
feel so drowsy today..the medication is so strong...coz i am allergic to amoxil(a type of antibiotic)..i can only take the other antibiotic which is stronger...feel super weak after taking it..haiz...but..good news is my ankle swelling is gone!..hehez...good good..

went to town to try to get some new yr clothes...but din get anything...tink the cny season is not in town yet..the clothes r all so dull...hmm...but there's sale..hehz...gonna go again on sun?..haz...feeling the whole body ache now coz of close combat training...haz..but its a fun training though...

hmm..feeling much beta today for my flu but wasn't well enough to go club with the rest of the platoon at rouge..think they are having fun now..haiz...but i wanna get well before brunei..hope la..yay jus change my blog template..heh but the colour abit off...haz..but nevermind la...hope i will be better tomolo!...

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, January 14, 2005
` 1:21 AM
i am sick...really sick..down with flu the whole week..feel so disoriented...everyone is sick now...haiz...is it the weather or is it us?...the whole week in camp was actually quite slack...doing area cleaning..the weapons and nothin much other than close combat and lectures...scary to tink..i m flying off soon...i am really scare of brunei...but i hope i will make it...i hope la...i will try...hope tat my flu will be ok soon and my ankle...so many problems b4 i fly...maybe its a lesson to trust in Him at all times?...i will..

its good to be back home again...really good...when u r sick..u miss home...heh...the care u get at home....m i being pampered?...heh...and to you..thanz so much for ur concern:p...its sweet of u

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, January 08, 2005
` 6:13 PM
it has been raining the whole day..since last night when i woke up till this morning it has been raining..the weather is so cooling but yet it reminds me of those victims out there..struggling...haiz...

Spent the whole day at home..sorta resting my ankle and not to over exert it before tomolo's exercise..the swelling has gone down..hope it will remain this way and not swell again..hope...watch a v touching show on scv jus now..dunno wat's the name but its a korea show...about this guy and gal from a small village who was a couple since young till the gal left for city to find her way after her dad's death..the guy was jus an ordinary mail man who wrong letters after letters to her...as usual the gal has a change of heart and when the guy went to find her he found the truth instead..but he nv regretted loving her instead continue to look after her granny in the village..abit long hor?...cut it short..the most touching part was when the guy jumped off the vehicle which was carrying his whole family to another town where they were reallocated..he went to the river where the 2 have many memories and dived in to find the missing shoe she dropped in it yrs ago...stupid right?..but the scene was touch when u realize how much he sacrifice for her even though its meaningless....love...haiz...the show ended with both of them NOT together....so sad..but its a v nice show...korea show are always so touching...

haiz...enough of show..gotta book in soon...another weekend gone...its back to army again....

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, January 07, 2005
` 11:45 AM
Micheal flew off last night to england for his training at selhurst..din manage to get to the airport to send him off coz was at dean's house for bbq...but we still give him a call and wish him all the best..well i certainly hope he will make it thru over there..its a tough course..not to mention he will be commission by the queen of england...and train with prince harry?...gd life huh?...take care bro!....
renewed my passport today..cant believe i will going brunei soon...haiz....nvm..jus heard from mervin tat he is leaving for indonesia on mon...volunteer for the tsunami work...jiayou bro...u can do it... we will see each other when we are back...be strong!

went back to aj today..so many things has changed...there is even a choir room now...hehz...alot of memories when i walk the stairs...it just feel lik i finish A levels last week...itys a yr back now...time really flies...was taking the train back when i suddenly miss the times when i took the train back home after night co practice..it was usually 11 and i am alone on the train...miss the time when i will think alot of stuff on the train...to think of it..i'm 20 this yr!...haz

Ajco has really matured alot..their playing is so much beta and pro than my batch..jiayou juniors...we will win again...coz my spirit nv dies!...

jus went to see the doc bout my ankle...having 6 needles poked into my ankle again..hope my swelling will go..it has been 1 month..haiz....good day!

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005
` 8:33 PM
was slacking the whole day...heh...i slpt the whole day!...haz...there wasn't really a program today actually..heh..the only program was medical check up for brunei trip...we are leaving in 13 dayz time!..hehz....quite funz....

okiez...now i am typing in the conference room of my wing..with mr zhijia and yq n weili beside me...all of us jus saw the brunei schedule...its scary...14 days of outfield...hehz..its madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i am going to hate brunei..ops..mr zj juz remind me tat i was naked going to bath todayz...hehe..its army la boi..everyone does tat...hehz...

okiez..abit serious now...know this morning my fren's fren sis is down with illness...hmm...i dunno wat to say but that in life..its only when we are losing grip that we start to hold things tight isn't it?...i guess it jus teaches me to cherish life more?...hope everything will be alright...

i skipped happy hour today..its so boring with hundreds of guys in the mess room drinkin with no entertainment...i rather slp..guess i am hooked to slping..ha..tomolo another day...life goes on..

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005
` 9:17 PM
went for helicopter training today...hmm..quite fun though...its like i nearly fell off the chopper if not for my seat belt?...ha..it was really fun..the whole day was actually about heli-ops...so its quite slack..

cameback to camp then realised my RCK was stolen..nowi hafta buy a new one to replace it and it cost about 30 bucks..haiz..jus feel so moody coz i was pleadin the platoon to help me maybe look for it but none was actually listening?...the feeling of being the wrong platoon is back again...was all the while thinking if i am back at my old platoon things might be different..haiz...neva mind..everything is a new experience i guess?...

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, January 02, 2005
` 7:17 PM
alright..i am typing this in camp...received a phone call in the morning jus as i was about to step out the house for church...i was told to report back by 11 for guard duty..though i could find reasons to run away but i jus feel tat it isn't right..someone got to do it somehow right?...haiz..so i came back..did from 12 to 4 then rested awhile...sneak back to wingline and type this blog...haiz...gotta do through out the night later..suppose to be standing in the carpark now but richard is there..gonna change shift later...my sunday is gone jus lidat...next sunday is another training day coz we thurs book out...so 2 sundays in a row i have to be in camp...wat is this?!..haiz..jus hafta accept it...feel so low morale now...super low....way too low...haiz..nvm...good day everyone..

~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 2:36 AM
1st day of the year 2005 start quite slowly for me..heh..only woke up at 130 in the afternoon then was quite stunned...because i was supposed to meet xiong and harn at orchard at 130..but realised both of them are the same as me or rather later than me to wake up..haz...all tired pigs..managed to change the venue to JP to meet up for a late lunch at crystal jade..3 out of 5 of us are present..the usual gang...reagan din come as usual coz of harn i guess...haiz..miss sarah is in aussie..betrayed her country..hehz...but we still had a good time slacking till 5 plus before we left...it was a great meal...haven met up with harn for a long time..still the same old her..haz...shall bring alone the camara next time...

walk ard with xiong before coming home...was talking alot of stuff with him..my best buddy...hard to accept that we know each other of wat 12 yrs?and we r gonna be 20 this yr?...its fast isn't it?...goodness...we are OLD...ha....soon we will be out with our kids running around...ah!...i don wanna think about it..haz...but nice to have such a gd best fren who stick with me for more than a decade..thankz bro...

new yr...hmm..now wat is left for me in my ocs course is brunei..after that i can sorta slack?but i am scared of brunei actually...dunno if i can take the 15 days without food..haiz...shall not think and leave it to God..zhixian did it...he jus came back..so i guess...jiayou!...

had a spiderman movie marathon jus now..hehz..nice show...its nice to slack at home sometimes...but mum is not feeling well..haiz..hope she can get well and start working less...she is tired..haiz...everyone gambatte!

Happy New Year!

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, January 01, 2005
` 3:09 AM
Finally back from 4 days of survival training in tekong...hardly survived the two days without food and the last day if 36km navigation..shack..was scolded by PC coz half the platoon was caught resting in the middle of the night for the navigation when they expected us to push through till the end point...but it was really our fault..didn't had any rest for nearly 20 hours and we were all exhausted plus my ankle really hurts alot..but i still pushed on till the end by God's grace..its darn painful now!!...nonetheless..its not the way future commanders are to behave..reflect...

Today is the last day of the year 2004..jus heard the neews that about 140000ppl have died from the tidal wave that hit indonesia all the way to india from xmas till now..its saddening...so many lives loss and the tol is expected to increase...suddenly the feeling of lonliness sets in..u wonder the suddeness of the situation and the impact it left..suddenly you jus feel the almightiness of God..ppl crying out to Him and asking why did it happen..but it jus occurs to me that a strong message is being sent across...He is in charge not just of u and me but the entire universe..Trust in Him..His wisdom is more than anyone can understand..easier said than done i know..but we must try..condolences to all who lost their love ones...

Yet another thing tat struck me is the way this disaster has brought the world together...ppl all around praying for strangers not for miracles that they know wont happen..but for the souls of these victims to be rested..i jus about to realised that such 'global' bonding occurs only previously in Sept 11th incident...must we take so many lives to make the world a loving and compassionate place again?Are we really tat engross in money,power,politics,fightings or even land that only such terrible disaster can stop everything and let us once again hold hand in hand again?...i guess its a wake up call for all of us..cherish everyone around you...its not easy to forgive others doings on you neither is it easy to take sorry for an apology for damaged done..but how long can we hold on to our grieves?generations after generations?If God is willing to sacrifice His son Jesus to die fo rus so that we can be forgiven from our sins why cant we sacrifice our pride?...something to ponder upon...life isn't tat simple afterall..

Last day of the year was like just another day to me in the army except for all the news...nonetheless..i am still thankful to be alive and well and training hard as a soldier for my country..still thankful for the friends i have and the new friends i made...thankful for everything...look into the past,not to cast shadows to the future,but to cherish the present...

~Mr Jen has spoken.

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