Monday, December 20, 2004
` 7:59 PM
In the cadet mess typing this now...today was quite slack..mostly lectures but was also abit fed up with myself coz of the duty list which i have done...there's guard duty on xmas day and i place in all the extras ppl to do it but there is also some regimental duty personnel...as usual..ppl are unhappy with the arrangement...haiz..i noe i cant please everyone but it makes me feel like everyone hates me in my platoon...feel so...haiz...i dunno...is it just me or?now jus waiting to take over others duty on xmas to make everyone happy i hope..just feel being disliked...perhaps its the truth...i guess..
Got the much awaited reply from my fren to salvage my guilt..was relief to receive but i still feel the guilt...i just don noe wat is wrong nowadays...argh!....
its gonna be 4 wks before i leave for brunei again...tomolo is urban warfare camp till thurs then next week is survival prep course in tekong for 4 days..next next week is all outfield...perhaps its bout the time i go back to the forest and think bout myself when i m surviving alone...need to reflect on myself..my behaviour..my attitude..my life...
~Mr Jen has spoken.