...Thoughts...
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
` 5:38 PM
well...3 days passes in a flash...Christmas is already over?!...the yri coming to an end..suddenly feel so stunned by the fact that i've gone through 2004!..so many things happen this yr yet i am still here survival..heh...Give thanks to the Lord:p..

Was hanging ard esplanade during the xmas eve when i saw a crowd ofppl counting down to xmas...they were sorta partying and running ard?...it just struck me that so many ppl yet do not know the real meaning of christmas...it has been commercialized and become more of a santa thingy than about Jesus...sad isn't it?but its precisely a christian's job to let them know the gospel right?ironically we ourselves sometimes fall into the main crowd and lost my sights...sad to say....persevere on bro n sis in christ...

Then attending the xmas party in church on xmas day...it has been like a long long time b4 i went to join back any tuanqi activity...was looking on the slide shows of pictures from the past to this yr...we all have grown so much...from young boys to man and young gals to ladies...time really fly...how i wish to go back to the times of alpha camp..church carolling..outings..slacking at sunshine place with jess,dun,dz,yang and mq...practically doing nothing the whole day at the ASIAN CAFE...remember?..hehz...we have grown passed the age...OLD!!!ah!!..ha..but life goes on...yep...

Going back to camp soon...after dinner at cousin hse...getting worried about my ankle...really don wish to go for x rat and to get out of course when i only have bout 3 months left...the feeling of anxiety is getting over me now...i jus cant describe how sad or how disappointed with myself now...hope everything will be fine...i hope..


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, December 24, 2004
` 3:55 PM
just got back from camp..went to see the sinseh just now..had a few needles plucked into my ankle..(ouched!)..and let the electric current run through my foot....haiz...it has been 2 weeks since i last sprained my ankle and its swollen again after the FIBUA camp...argh..tripped and fell a few times think i twisted the ankle again..haiz..that's why i cant take over richard for guard duty for tomolo...making everyone so..haiz...sorry..

The FIBUA field camp was fun minus the part where i fell down..ha...got to go back to camp for a night because i am the ammo party but i would rather stay in the field to slp 7 hrs than to go back camp slp 3 hrs...no complaints though the bed was comfortable..heh...

Its xmas eve!...so fast...suddenly the yr has passed like no body's business...feel lost sometimes..it seems like when u are studying u have examinations to strive for then at the end of the yr its either u feel good or u regret bout the result...its like now in the army nothing at the end of the yr for me to recap?perhaps the taiwan trip?...haz...but its so fast...its like start of the yr i was still working at BODs at HMV then the end of the yr i m in the armp preparing to go Brunei in 3 wks time?...cant believe it...but God's will still prevail in my life..i think..

had a taste of jungle survival tis morning in camp learning bout building the shelter,fireplace and traps...next week if survival buddy level at tekong for the week...i dunno whether my ankle can take it with the 30km plus walk or i will drag down my buddy's performance....i hope not..haiz...ok lets not talk bout the moody stuff..shall prepare to go out for a feast..hehz...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, December 20, 2004
` 7:59 PM
In the cadet mess typing this now...today was quite slack..mostly lectures but was also abit fed up with myself coz of the duty list which i have done...there's guard duty on xmas day and i place in all the extras ppl to do it but there is also some regimental duty personnel...as usual..ppl are unhappy with the arrangement...haiz..i noe i cant please everyone but it makes me feel like everyone hates me in my platoon...feel so...haiz...i dunno...is it just me or?now jus waiting to take over others duty on xmas to make everyone happy i hope..just feel being disliked...perhaps its the truth...i guess..

Got the much awaited reply from my fren to salvage my guilt..was relief to receive but i still feel the guilt...i just don noe wat is wrong nowadays...argh!....

its gonna be 4 wks before i leave for brunei again...tomolo is urban warfare camp till thurs then next week is survival prep course in tekong for 4 days..next next week is all outfield...perhaps its bout the time i go back to the forest and think bout myself when i m surviving alone...need to reflect on myself..my behaviour..my attitude..my life...



~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, December 19, 2004
` 6:00 PM
Didn't write for a few days since i am back..kinda busy..was out almost most of the time except the day i was back...so to summarize wat happened in the last few days..i watched Ocean twelvel,went to see the doc bout my ankle which is still in pain, went to buy the platoon xmas present and met up with 18/02 ppl for a drink yesterday night....quite an eventful few days not to mention having supper with yang n dz they all...busy huh?..i feel so too..haz...

Today went back to church and witness the uncle gotta baptized...was really very happy for him and his family after years and years of prayers it finally happened....i really think when will it be the turn when i witness my parents...i pray...well saw granny and aunt and cousins after so many weeks...haz..kinda miss them..but today was also a bad day coz i piss a fren off in church after some remark which was meant to be a joke by me...i was very guilty..very..waiting now for e reply for acceptance of the apology..i jus wonder its a man nature isn't it to be guilty only after things has happen...i'm sorry sincerely...haiz...miss a fren who wasn't in church today but managed to talk again just now..well i guess..sometimes..God knows what He is doing and we are jus too small to understand isn't it?..Pray..


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, December 16, 2004
` 10:16 AM
platoon 1 Posted by Hello


~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 8:16 AM
just reach home not long ago...5 hours ago i was still in taipei...haiz..but i really miss home..bought quite alot of stuff...R and R is really fun..haz..went shopping spree...spent about S$700..hehe..but its my own hardearned money..so its okiez..went to the Xi Men Ding over there equavalent to the orchard here...bouth 2 jeanz,1 pair of sneakers,3 tops..and some other stuff for bro and frenz...hehz...really enjoy the trip..glad that i m back safe and sound..one thing i have to complaint is the hotel!..it really suckz!!!!!!!!i was kiving in a one star hotel..or rather motel while the other platoons was in like 3 or 4 stars..so unfair!..jus because they travelled with a colonel..!!argh!...but nevermind...we have our own fun too...eat alot..think i have grown fat..and oso sprained my ankle..haz...but when shopping the ankle is ok:p...gonna see sinseh later..

overall the taiwan trip was fun be it trainin or during the recreation time...the weather is cold but its not as humid as in spore...haz...i will miss the times there...now that i m back...its all back to in camp training againz..haiz..nothing much for me too look forward to though coz x'mas n new yr i will be like having survival training b4 it..haiz..but looking forward to someone returning:)...i love my home^_*


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, December 09, 2004
` 7:17 PM
Finally..i'm back from the torturing 5 days of exercise where i completed 7 missions in all...feel shack...din really slp well or rather slp at all all these while...but by God's grace..i managed to pass thru..esp when the mission was when i was the platoon commander for defending the sector...that day on the mountain was so freaking cold that i was shivering while i speak..furthermore..the place is so wide and spread that i stretcjed my forces too wide..in the end..PC came and ask me to reallocate them..then waited for the enemy to come when they did at 9pm..it was a relieve..not that we lost but that it was over...haz..but the 7 missions was fun thinking back..the walking..back to back assault..climbing up mountains...but was really shack..

Now in camp was only to slack and pack stuff for R and R....rumours spread tat we wont be going to taipei coz of the elections..AH!...i wan to go there to shop!..haz...but i guess given a choice..i would rather go home...that's the place i want to be...i actually dreamt of mum this morning during the short rest period when i doze off!i miss home...its really cold here...Alpha camp starts today..hope tat everyone is having fun!..if only i am back there now...


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Friday, December 03, 2004
` 2:54 PM
alright this is my last blog for days to come..typhoon is hitting my training area and i will be stuck in my bunk..haiz...gonna delayed my missions and the R and R might be delayed..haiz...dunno...falling sick...sorta flu and tired..maybe its the weather...its blowing cold whole day...really cold...last night was quite terrible...was in a sort of depression..dunno why..i cried...not because i miss home or i m scared of the training...but jus wanted to cry out to God...wanted some consolation from Him...though not really the case but at least i let off some steam..Thank you Lord...

Jus read the comment by bro...thanx..i will hang in there but its the matter of how hard it will be but i will give my best...thanx..well...time is flying...hope i can make it back to spore in a piece..haz...typhoon is here...first time in my life...hope no accident will happen...hope la...i will be alright...everyone jiayou!..


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Thursday, December 02, 2004
` 3:27 PM
Today is my mum's birthday...sorta sad because i wont be with her for her birthday for the first time in my life...Happy Birthday mum..well...in 4 days time its big bro birthday...he is kinda old now..hehe...age is a secret..but Happy Birthday Bro too...coz by then i will be in the middle of my 5 days missions...so wont be in camp to call or wish you...:P

Today was to be kinda of slack but it wasn't the case..was forced to wake up at 6 to do stupid area cleaning coz one of the cadets dad..(supposedly a ambassador) is visiting taiwan and dropped by to visit us...in the end i never see him...SAF..Wayang!!..haiz..the rest of the day was actually doing ops order for ex Homerun and Finale..the given orders was full of error and we have to change n change coz of the cock up at HQ...haiz...tired...learnt one thing today...don rely on others...its better to always to count on urself before asking others..though its not exactly good but sometimes..relying on others might be the killer for urself..or perhaps its jus the ppl ard me that i shld not rely on?..perhapz so...feel kinda of low morale since i joined plt 3 from plt 1...used to think that plt 1 is xiong n the pc is unreasonable...but now...i missed Lt Alvin's jokes and sarcastic remarks..at least he cared for us...now Lt Terence though knowledgeable but his relations with cadets is totally...haiz....furthermore now at plt 3..i just cant perform..as in i cannot give my best..is it coz there r many best ard that i m the lowest or jus tat i m no good?the more i m in this plt..the more i feel tat i cannot make it as an officer..envy or low self esteem i don know..it jus seems i cant get into the plt circle...its kinda of harder...feel like getting myself out of course sometimes...i prayed about it..but it seems like the same..or is it i m being impatience?God has His own time though...perhaps its a trial..i will live with it n try to over come i guess...if i can...

enough of complaining...taiwan is cold...getting used to it here now though the air is very dry..my lips r cracking...other than that its still fine...woke up this morning realised its dec and mum n bro birthday..i miss home...14 days to go...i will survived..was singing christmas carol just now in the canteen...haz...by the time i m back its christmas...so fast...well...time flies don they?...hope its does for me now...:)..Shen ri kuai le mi mi and la da!


~Mr Jen has spoken.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004
` 5:02 PM
hello everybody..haz...i am typing this from taiwan.hahaz...from my base camp at the southern tip of taiwan..juz a wk here and its pretty chilling!...had my navigation exercise from mon till actually tomolo but my grp manage to come bac earlier today so actually slacking now.haz...it was really fun climbing up the tall mountainz and slping on top 600m mountain having camp fire in the strong wind at ard 13 degrees?.freezing but its fun with ur frenz around...well...nextup is ex home run the killer....gambatte!...hope to see ya ppl soon....yupz...anw my birthday was alright..juz another day i guess..miss everyone back home....


~Mr Jen has spoken.

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