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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
` 10:51 PM
i am flying off in 8 hrs time...feel abit anxious and abit scared....axious bout wat is going to happen..scared of what will happen...ha..i dunno...feel worried somehow...just feel tat something gonna happen dunno why..but God is in charge..so no prob...haz...went around today to sim lim and ikea looking to buy com monitor and a com table..end up with none coz bro n dad came to a conclusion tat today is just a recce..*bish*..waste time..ha...but its fun hanging out with ur dad n bro..haz...

well...just cut my beforehand birthday cake...i miss home suddenly...dunno y...miss mum,dad and bros..but the cake was nice..hehe...coffee ice cream cake!...haz...hmm...got a call from xiaoen..thanx...i'll be back alright..haz..at least i tink i will..:)..ya jiayou too k?..by the time i reach there u have only one more paper left!..haz..God is good...

seeya everyone..take care...till i come back again...life goes on ^_*

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
` 10:58 PM
the old gang...(L to R)zhihan,luke.joseph,fanglong.arthur,zhihan,ivan,winnie,hildya,chia hsia n me!..
 Posted by Hello

~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 10:25 PM
Back at home again...hehe...kop my uncle's monitor to use so i can use the com again!!!..hahaz...well...today in camp was rather hectic..had alot of cleaning to do before can seal up the whole building for taiwan trip..Sorta rush but still manage to get it down...See..when there's a motivation..there' s effort in doing stuff...humanz...

went to JP with ashik,CK,junxian,boontat n lim aikien..had a sorta tea break at mac...talk alot of things..like camaras n relationships n stuff...guys...but i found something in common...all of us in relationships r all tired...not tired of e other part or tired of relationship...but tired of ourselves..tired of juggling the stress in camp n the life outside..tired of giving in when we know giving in will lead to more problems..tired of swallowing every bit of our pride...tired of not being able to say how we feel...tired of hiding our tiredness....ppl outside will say tat being cadets is having a gd life..a gd pay..trained with respect...n they will say the tiredness is worthwhile....but no one will know the mental agony we feel..no one can understand how it feels to have the life of ur platoon in ur hand..how everyone will be puunished for an individual mistake..how much u have to pay for being a cadet n not just a soldier..why outside we still have to bear the wrath of the other part?sometimes..how i wish i can say the tears in me to someone...but i nv did..even if i do..its a just a prelude...too much for me to say i guess..too much for anyone..well...perhaps its a process we have to go thru..just tat mine is harder?..or easier for others?..God will be with me isn't it?

2 more days...not much of fear but anxiety in me....just got a bdae card from fiona in US..ha..nv thot this mei of mine will be so nice..well or i m mean?..haz..thanx mei:p..got wishes from loh wei,winnie n ruijie..beforehand wishes..well e sincerity counts..thankz ppl...jiayou ah ruijie...time flies...gonna be 19 ha..still young..sorry 20-goers..u r OLD!..hahaz...

"All this wisdom comes from the Lord Almighty. The plans God makes are wise, and they always Succeed!"

Isaiah 28:29

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, November 22, 2004
` 9:47 PM
its monday..the blues are back..haz...getting lame nowadays...i'm typing this in camp now..because my monitor is spoilt at home!...wat is wrong with it??why must it go down at this time...??!!!ah!!...spent the whole day at home other than going to PS with dad to do the international roaming for my phone...was one of the few occasions when i get to be alone with him..ha..guess none of my bro will be able to compared that..for the passed 4 yrs its always me and him alone at home..perhaps explain how i get to know him better...good or bad?..dad...ha..as the usual father..always want to show that he care yet refuse to put off the stern front..he kept asking me about the taiwan trip..did i bring my medication?my sweater?is the training going to be tough?..put it simply..he is jus trying to say i care for you..hah..well..dads are dads aren't they?..yes i love my dad..thanx dad..

the whole of the afternoon was at home slacking..kinda of bored but jus slp thru the time before i booked in back again...time flies...its gonna be thurs soon....very fast..i'll be back again....

~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 1:00 AM
Quite a normal church service today...nothing spectacular other that all the songs during service are of those that i wanted to sing for so long...ha..its the last tie in church before i fly for taiwan..just had abit of a unbearable feeling to leave..ha...miss home?..i dunno...

Met up with 18/02 ppl for luch..not many came..as usual...ha..only ivan,fanglong,guoyi,zhihan,joseph,ben, winnie, hildya and loh wei...really miss my jc life..we were talking about how fast we transit from jc to uni and army then it struck me that i m going to be 20 next year..old!!time really flies...teenage yrs are the only ones where u get to have lotsa frens and have fun without have all the heavy responsibilities on your shoulders...perhaps life should be like the mercendes commercial..start from old to young then we'll enjoy life more?...perhaps so...i cant really figure out how my future will be...normal?...its just so unthinkable now..stop!...stop thinking!..cherish the present ba..

gonna fly of in 3 days time...dunno why the thought of if i get to go overseas to study the feelings will be the same..missing home..missing people around..it struck me that its not as easy as i thought it'll be to go just lik that...its not that simple...a prelude to the future happenings?..ha...but i'll still go...experience the pain to know what is precious?...my own theory...maybe i have been thinking too much nowadays...i shall stop here...time to rest n look at now....jiayou!...

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
` 1:40 AM
Wanted to watch The Incredibles to day but everyone is sold out!!went to check cineleisure,PS and marina..all is gone!!...must be those irritating sec 4 who jus finish O levels..cant they tink of ppl like us?soldiers who only have weekends to watch movies n shop?why they wanna pay 8.50 on weekend when they can pay 6.50 on weekdays?...spare a thought for us can?...haiz....End up walking around PS till dinner time and went to clarke quay for dinner...

As the day passed..i cant help tinkin tis time next week i'll be in taiwan...it'll be my birthday...a sad lonely birthday....first time in my life a birthday away from home...haiz...wat will happen there?..i have mixed feelings towards it...excited to go yet dread the training i have to go through..dunno...3 wks in taiwan..back for 3 wk then brunei for another 3 wk...3..3..3...is it the special number?...sometimes..u just feel that time goes so slow when u noe that its actually very fast..chim right?...i m still trying to figure out..something to do with relativity..ha...

Tried applying to DSTA scholarship today...didn't manage to finish the essay part before my com slows n diaoz...haiz..incomplete application..will they even consider?..leave it to God..He wil lead me..trust man..trust!...tomolo is meeting with 18/02 ppl...man i haven seen them for ages..ha..hope it'll be a nice day...HOPE...its all in the mind...

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Saturday, November 20, 2004
` 1:16 AM
18/02 Posted by Hello

~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 1:10 AM
senior bar presentation!!!23km march!!! Posted by Hello

~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 12:50 AM
yesh...back at the comfort of my home...relaxing one corner for the last 3 hours..(or in layman's term..slping:P)..haz...well...i m finally relieve of being the cadet wing sergeant major today..just too much work for me for the past 4 wks!!yes!!i m again a free man!...but the experience of being the appt holders was quite good..first to wake up last to slp..first to be teka, last to be rewarded..it was more of a form of self accomplishment that u will feel rather than the praise u get from ppl...though i still learn alot from this..more about myself..more about the ppl around me..

woohoo...5 more days to taiwan...feeling scared yet looking forward to it...training is gonna be tough with so many missions in 3 days..and so little rest time...haiz...but i m looking forward to the R n R where i m going to shop till mad!!!and i mean mad!!!hope tat everything will go well then...don noe whether i will miss home or not..haiz...there are certainly ppl tat i will miss when i m down over there..the support i get from frenz...guess its time i stand up by myself....

~Mr Jen has spoken.

Monday, November 15, 2004
` 10:23 PM
today is really a demoralising day...first it was a public hol n i m in camp for live firing...then alot of things went wrong..i was firing my mortar n i went to adjust the settings the wrong way till i totally miss the target yet i dare not admit i did the adjustment...cant i just have abit of moral courage to say i m wrong?what's the matter with me??...then the stores was also wrong n i din check them the night before...having a severe headache now...i never doubt myself as a person before so much..not to even say i doubt myself as a christian now...is this the real me?

~Mr Jen has spoken.

` 10:51 AM
First posting...a start?...din really want to start but just wanna find a place to type something instead of just writing in my little diary...Sunday is always a day i cherish...church n God...something i feel is lacking in me nowadays...haiz....but its also a day which i dread...booking in....10 more days before i go fight in a foreign land...life goes on isn't it?...tough gets going..God get u going!....Trust always....

~Mr Jen has spoken.

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